Whispers into an Empty Wind
by believeindreams-believeinyou
Summary: -How can you be expected to keep living when the world is crumbling beneath your feet?- Threeshot, possibly multi-chapter. Dedicated to Ella. T because I'm paranoid.
1. Going Under

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"So go on and scream  
Scream at me, I'm so far away (so far away)  
I won't be broken again (again)  
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under." ; Evanescence - Going Under.

* * *

__

"You don't understand! You never do!"

"Why don't you help me understand, instead of just shouting like a petulant teenager?"

"Because you wouldn't get it!"

Her brown eyes rolled.

"You know what? I don't want to understand anymore."

"Sonny, I-

"I don't want to know, Chad."

He reached out to her, and she shut him out.

He could only see the side of her face as she spoke up again, in a hushed voice.

"I'm tired of all this."

"I'm sor-

"Don't you dare say you're sorry! Every fight, Chad. Every fight we have, you reel me back in with apologies, as if it excuses the things you've said."

"I don't mean them, I-

"You're so stupid, Sonny. You're always whinging, and it's so annoying. You're just depressed when I'm not here. I have a life; what do you have?" She recited, mimicking Chad's voice with perfection.

He was speechless.

"I remember it all." She whispered, allowing a single tear to run down her cheek.

She wiped it away quickly and busied herself with cleaning up the table.

"I.. I think we need some time to think."

"Sonny, please. I don't mean anything, they're just-

"things you say to make me back down." She finished for him. "I can't take this anymore. You can't keep breaking me so you don't get broken."

* * *

He woke up the next morning to a note and an engagement ring, an empty dresser, and one less car in the driveway.

"Sonny."

He read the note.

"You don't have to worry. I'm truly far away from you now."

His mind flashed back to another fight, another time, another place.

"**You're so far away from where I am, emotionally. Sometimes I wonder why we're together at all."**

"**because love conquers all."**

"**In fairytales."**

And just like that, he let her go.

He didn't put up a fight. He didn't call her. He didn't chase her down and confess undying love.

Even though he never stopped thinking about her. Never stopped loving her.

All because he knew she was right. Somehow, deep down inside, he'd always known that the way he treated Sonny just wasn't fair. He never really understood why he did it, though. Sonny was just the punching bag; the way to let his anger out when something went wrong.

Somewhere along the line, she realised this. He was drowning her with his ways.

She got out before she went under.

Chad wasn't so lucky.

* * *

"TV's Chad Dylan Cooper, self-proclaimed Greatest Actor of His Generation, was found dead in his home in Hollywood earlier today. People on the scene say he drowned in the bathtub."

* * *

"Breaking news: It was found by coroners that the late Chad Dylan Cooper killed himself. There were a wide variety of toxins and medication found in his system. Police also found a suicide note, containing a simple sentence: I drowned for trying to drown her. Police have no leads as of yet. Do you

think Chad could have tried to kill someone?"

* * *

A/N- I know, I know. It was pretty much just horrible. I can't believe I killed Chad.

Anyway, review? Let me know if this is worth continuing.


	2. The Truth Hurts

_A/N- thanks for all the lovely reviews I got for the last chapter! I decided, based on reviews, that I didn't really go into enough depth in _Going Under_, and that there as a lot more to explore with this storyline. So I've decided to make this a three-shot (or maybe longer, depending on reviews and where I find myself going when I write it up.)... _

_Here's the next chapter. (: It's up in such a short time span because I was so inspired by the reviews and people reading this, that I just _had_ to write immediately. Then the internet key fell into my hands, and voila! _

_Anyway, have fun reading, and review? (: it really makes my day._

_[P.S- sorry to anyone who read this chapter the first time I posted it... fanfiction and my laptop aren't agreeing with eachother today, so I deleted, fixed it, and re-posted.]_

* * *

Sonny made her way to the couch, ready to settle down after a long day at work.

"Honey, you might not want to watch the news." The most familiar voice rang out, subtly hinting that something bad was on.

This, of course, made Sonny more determined to see what she shouldn't be seeing. (It stemmed from her childhood... She'd _always_ find the Christmas presents, just because she knew she wasn't supposed to.)

She pressed the little red button to turn it on, and then pressed the "volume down" button multiple times as soon as the light flickered on, trying to beat the TV and not alert anyone to its new status.

"_Chad Dylan Cooper," _the TV announced quietly.

The words sent a pang of unknown emotion through Sonny's body.

This weird feeling reminded her why she'd _stopped_ watching the news in the first place.

"_has been found dead in his-_

Her fingers fumbled with the remote in her hurry to turn it off.

Chad… Dead?

"I told you not to…" the voice behind her trailed off.

She turned and frowned.

Standing behind her, with a spatula in his hand and an apron on, was her fiancé of 8 months.

His face expressed confusing emotions; sadness, worry, and a little bit of relief too.

"How long did you think you could keep this from me?" she started, her voice nothing more than a tiny whisper.

"Longer than this," he admitted. "I didn't expect you to watch the news until this all died over... none of us did."

"_Us_?" she asked, incredulous, her voice gaining volume and a rising a few octaves. "Who are '_us'_?"

"Well, everyone at the studio-

"My _friends_? You and my friends decided it was better to keep this from me?"

She was mad now. She rose from her seat, her face paling in colour and her arms flinging all over the place as she tried to get her point across.

"Sonny, _please_, calm down." He said in a normal voice, trying to soothe her.

"I WILL _NOT_ CALM DOWN! HE'S _DEAD_, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IT'S NOT LIKE HE MOVED AWAY! HE CAN'T COME BACK. HE'S _DEAD_!"

Both stood in silence for a few seconds, listening to the harsh breathing coming from Sonny's chest.

She was _trying_ to maintain her composure, but it was failing awfully. Her eyes stung like tears were on the way, and she'd practically dug her nails straight through her palms.

"We were trying to do what's best for you." He mumbled.

"WHAT'S _BEST FOR ME_? WHAT'S BEST FOR ME WOULD'VE BEEN TELLING ME THAT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE HAD JUST DIED!" she screamed.

And then she realised what she'd said.

They _both_ did.

_Chad was the love of Sonny's life._

His widened eyes watched her flail around in panic.

"I..I.." she stumbled over her words and her feet, trying to get to the door.

"I have to go."

Before he could react, she was out the door.

* * *

She was running.

Running to get away from it all.

The nonsense part of her mind told her this was a dream. If she could just run far enough, she'd find the comfort of Chad's arms once again. She'd forgive him for everything he'd done. She'd go back in time and walk back in the door after she'd walked out that last time.

She loved him. It wasn't fair that he left her all alone.

The thought pulled her up short, and she stopped in the middle of an old, quiet, dark street.

_She_ left _him_ all alone, why shouldn't he return the favour?

Suddenly she was staring into the sky, as if it was going to give him back if she begged hard enough.

"_please_!" she sobbed, "I made a _mistake_! That mistake shouldn't cost him his life!"

As if waiting for an answer some part of her knew she was never going to get, she inhaled deeply, dropped to the ground, and held her breath.

She was so caught up with staring into the clouds, eyes and mind demanding _her_ Chad back, that she didn't see the oncoming lights.

And it was dark enough that the driver behind the wheel of the little car didn't see her either.

"I love you, Chad. Come back to me." she whispered.

The tyres of the car screeched, and came to a stop a few feet from where Sonny had been standing.

_Was that the final whisper Sonny Munroe would ever let grace her lips?_

_

* * *

_

_A/N- oohh, cliffhanger, just because I'm slightly evil and like to keep people in suspense. (: _

_Review & I'll keep writing and posting on this story! _


	3. A Year Without You

_A/N- alright. this isn't even funny anymore. This is the 15th time I've tried to edit this. (I'm not exaggerating. Really. FIFTEEN TIMES.)_

_So yeah. My internet = needs to be stabbed. _

_Anyway. Enjoy. _

* * *

It had been a year since Sonny had found out the truth… and how much it hurts.

A year since she learnt that the love of her life had killed himself.

364 days since she'd woken up in the hospital, her legs not completely paralysed, but too weak to ever walk on again.

She should've been filled with sadness. She should've been crying.

But Sonny _couldn't feel anything_.

It was as if that accident had paralysed her entire body.

She wheeled her chair up the little ramp that led to the front porch, debating whether to go inside and be swallowed up a sea of sad faces, or just stay outside and feel nothing privately.

"Sonny?" A voice she'd become all too familiar with in the past year caught her by surprise, causing her to turn so fast it nearly knocked her wheelchair off-balance.

"Mrs. Cooper." she breathed.

Despite being one of the only two _real _people she'd spoken to in a year (the other being her own mother), she couldn't bring herself to call Chad's mother anything other than "Mrs. Cooper". That's what Chad had introduced her as.

"Goodness, dear. What're you doing out here? It's freezing! Why don't you come inside?"

Sonny debated this for a second.

"I.. no, thanks."

"I know, sweetie."

Sonny's curious face urged her to explain further.

"I know how hard it is to go in there, and pretend like you've done some healing at all in the past year."

Her eyes were sparkling with tears that weren't going to spill over. They'd looked like this all year long.

"They all expect us to have come to terms with… what happened. But I can't. How do you come to terms with your son dying?"

"Death isn't the end." Sonny's voice surprised even herself.

It wavered, as if she was about to cry. Something she _hadn't_ done.

"The priest got to you too, eh?"

Sonny nodded feebly.

"It's all I have… If I don't believe that he's out there, having the time of his life, I don't know what I'd do. I… I can't stand the thought of him _gone_."

"Sweetie… You can't fool yourself into believing he'll come back to you."

"But what if I could go back to him?"

The stern "Sonny," that escaped Chad's mother's lips was enough to make Sonny's mind up for good.

"I shouldn't have left him in the first place."

"Don't… do anything… _insane_. You know how much it hurts."

"You think I'm going to _kill_ myself?"

"I didn't say that-

"I… am." She mumbled.

"Sonny, please. Think this through."

"There's nothing to think about. I have to be with him. I can't live without him. I tried, and I just can't. Especially not like this." She said, gesturing to her wheelchair, "there's no point in living in this empty shell any longer."

"I know it hurts-

"Do you know what it's like to lose a soul mate?"

"Well, no, but-

"I can't feel."

"That's all because of-

"I can't feel _anything_!"

"But the doctors said-

"_Screw_ the doctors! They don't know anything! I need him, damn it."

She slammed her hands against the arm rests of her chair.

"I don't know how much more I can take." She whispered, her eyes pleading.

She just wanted to be let go of.

"_Please_, Sonny. You're the closest thing to a daughter I have… you're all I have left." Mrs. Cooper begged.

But Sonny had already made up her mind.

She flipped the lock on her right wheel and turned sharply, skidding down the ramp and out into the street.

She knew where she was headed. _The lake._

All the memories they'd made at the lake… he'd first told her he loved her at the lake. They shared their first picnic as a couple at the lake. She's met his parents at the lake. He'd found her there; ready to give up, when her grandmother passed away. He'd proposed at the lake.

And now, Sonny's life was going to end there. It seemed perfect.

Her wheels hit the ramp at a very high speed, making that annoying rattling noise she always despised when she'd ride her scooter up and down the little boat ramp in Wisconsin.

She felt the water hit her ankles, and then slide up to her knees.

She was sinking.

"_Hold on for me."_

Suddenly she panicked.

That was Chad's voice. _Chad's._ He was telling her to hold on, just when she was about to let go.

She started thrashing and splashing, determined, for the _very _firsttime in a year, to_ hold on._

It obviously didn't take as long to get to the lake by foot as it did by wheelchair, because Chad's mother was right behind her, grabbing her hands and hoisting her back up. _[A/N- you didn't really think I was gonna kill Sonny, did you? PSH. Sonny = Demi, who I've forbidden to ever die.]_

That was when she saw it. She had only just reached the semi-dry ramp and the safety of warm arms when she saw it.

"Chad!" she screamed, tears pouring down her face.

She reached out towards the shining figure.

It was _Chad_.

"Chad?"

It was Chad's mother who spoke this time.

"You can see him?" Sonny asked without turning away.

"Yes." She whispered, clutching Sonny that miniscule bit tighter.

"_Live for me."_

_Chad_ shimmered and disappeared, leaving Sonny screaming out again.

"He was there! _He was right there!_"

"I know, I know." Her voice was wavering dangerously, but her arms were strong and restraining the frantic girl.

Finally, Sonny stopped thrashing and just sat there.

"He wants me to live." She whispered.

"I think that's why he did what he did. Your life was always more important that his own, no matter how much trouble he had expressing that."

"I have to live. I have to do _everything_ he wanted to do."

"I don't think you can climb Mount Everest like he wanted to."

"I will. I don't need that damned chair. I'll learn how to walk again, and then I'll do everything he wanted to. He can live through me."

* * *

And she did. Sonny made a miraculous recovery, despite the odds being completely against her, and went on to complete Chad's "bucket list"- a thing he'd completed for fun one day.

She'd been named _Greatest Actress of Her Generation_ (officially).

She'd won 16 fun-runs.

She'd climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest.

She'd had a movie made about Chad's life.

She'd released an album that had at least one song make it to #1.

She'd made it to 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and 90.

She'd played the song Chad had written his mother, to her before she died.

She'd lived through the loss of Chad's mother and then her own. (Not on the list, but essential nonetheless.)

* * *

It was on her 98th birthday that things took a turn for the worst. Her organs were shutting down, despite her perfectly healthy lifestyle.

She'd shut all her friends out throughout her life (mostly in the first year without Chad), so there was no-one sitting beside her while she was in her death bed.

She let her shaking fingers caress the piece of paper, labelled _"Bucket List"_, one last time, before she folded it up and held it in her palm. There was still one thing not crossed off. The one thing that bugged her the most: _"#8: Marry Sonny Munroe and love her until the day I die."_

"I hope I've made you proud, Chad. I love you."

Her head was tilted towards the ceiling, and she closed her eyes and prepared to take that final breath.

* * *

_"One day, we'll meet again and you'll need me, you'll see me, completely. Every little bit. _

_Yeah, maybe, you'll love me, you'll love me then."_

_Maybe - Kelly Clarkson [My December]_

* * *

A/N- so how was it? This is the 2nd last chapter.

If you have any questions, tips, critisism or suggestions, don't hesitate to review or PM me. (:

Thanks for reading.


	4. The Beginning of the End

Her final breath eased away, and Sonny found death much easier than she'd found life. Death was peaceful. _Easy. _

"Sonny," a voice breathed, interrupting her thoughts and startling her.

How could someone be here, and how could she hear them? She was _dead_.

She opened her eyes, and suddenly she was 20 again. The age she was when Chad had died.

Then she lifted herself off of the bed.

"Chad?"

The words twirled and twisted, like a whisper into an empty wind.

He was standing in front of her, in all his glory, shining like everything around her.

"You lived for me." He said, smiling that smile Sonny was so deprived of.

"You told me to." She retorted, smirking.

It was easy to fall back into the same patterns with Chad.

"Good."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"So we good?"

"No, I don't think we are."

Chad's brow crumpled with confusion, and Sonny laughed. It wasn't the laugh she was used to, either. It tinkled and rang like a chorus of bells. It sounded like she was _happy_.

Brushing that aside, she stepped forward and slapped Chad on the arm.

"Ow!" He complained, "what was _that_ for?"

"For leaving me!"

His face was suddenly sympathetic.

"I'm sorry, Sonny."

"Why? I never understood why."

"I… I realised how much I was hurting you. It didn't seem fair that I should hurt you like that and live."

"Thank you." She whispered.

Her fragile state must've invoked something in Chad; he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

"What for?"

"If you _hadn't_, I would've lived my life all wrong. I would've never been happy at all. You made me realise how much I love you."

"I love you too, Sonny. I never stopped."

Their heads had been slowly leaning together for some time, but both had only just realised.

Sonny wrapped her arms around his neck and their lips met.

It was a sweet, passionate kiss they shared; like two lovers uniting again after a lifetime of being with someone else.

When they finally pulled away, Chad stroked the side of Sonny's face with his thumb.

"If you _ever_ leave again, I swear I'm going to die." Sonny said, her voice light and joking, but with that hint of extreme seriousness.

"You can't die, silly. You're already dead."

"Forever?" she asked, referring to how long they'd finally be together.

Chad kissed her lips lightly, and then smiled at her.

"Forever and a day."

* * *

T H E E N D .

* * *

_A/N- __I'm sorry, okay, but I just couldn't give it a sad ending. I _tried_. It's just too depressing to make SWAC things sad, 'cause I would've had to make Sonny sad... and well, let's just leave my Demi obsession out of this. _

_Anyway. I really hope you guys enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it._

_Thank you for reading. _


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